I keep on watching this show, trying to turn it off, but I can't. I guess what I really don't like about it is the fact that Patti is not treating the ladies right. She keeps on making nasty comment about their clothes (which might be appropriate at times) and then about their looks (saying that they aren't pretty etc.).
The latter I find completely inappropriate and mean, since EVERY woman IS pretty. It's all about how you dress, about make-up you where and of course about personality and attitude. And Patti should know that. If you take an average lady, she will look less-than-average in T-Shirt and slippers and "Just-got-up"-hair dew. But if you take her to a beauty salon, let her get a professional make-up and hair and dress her well, she will look way above average. So prettiness is relative.
I've met "pretty girls who looked trashy, and average girls who looked top notch! Gosh, I know all my looks and I know how people react to each one of them.
I guess the rule for a person is to understand that good looks start and happen in his/her head. First you have to have the WILL to look good or to understand WHY you need to do so. Then you have to find a WAY how to look good by maybe even getting some professional help. The looks should conform with the rules of timeless natural social behavior (basically like animals do) as well as the rules of current traditions and fashion.
More about the WILL:
1) One of the common thoughts that gets in the way of the WILL is "I am not pretty anyway". This is the thought you need to get rid of! My sister-in-law dresses like a bump and keeps on telling me when I dress up - "You can dress like this, because you are pretty, but I have to hide stuff". Say what......? And she is one of the cutest people I've met. If she would have a WILL and would want to change, she could be as attractive as any movie stars out there. But nope...
2) The other reason for lacking the WILL is the thought "Who should I dress up for" or "I will dress up when I need to"? True, on a daily basis there is no one to dress for... but yourself. As my father would say (in a different context) - this is the matter of self-respect and self-dignity in moments like these. On the other hand, the moment you see someone you like, it might be too late to think about dressing up. Special moments come, but you miss the opportunity, because you weren't prepared. Besides, if you are looking for love, how are you going to attract the right men/women EVER, if you the way you'd like to present yourself to the right person.
3) And last but not least, the incorrect thinking like this gets you in trouble "This is who I am, they should accept me for being ME". Oooooh boy, I've heard this sentence before way too many times. This sentence applies to looks just as much as to the personality and behavior. Take that one lady on Patti's show who was dressed as Pippi Longstocking. Or one of the millionaires (forgot his name) who wouldn't even clean his nails, because he thought he has enough to offer. Or my best friend, who was rather rough and tough on the outside, but quite sensitive on the inside. The question here is WHO do you want to attract. The way you present yourself is the way people will first judge you and feel either attracted to you or not. It might be unfair, but it is a very normal animalistic behavior (look at the dogs and how they immediately judge each other). Of course you can change opinions about yourself after a while, but this act requires much more effort than giving the right signals about yourself from the very beginning.
3 a) Some people have a correct judgment about themselves, so that they simply need to dress and behave appropriately. I always considered myself an intellectual person having my goals and interests set accordingly. But dressing like a "slut" at school surely hasn't contributed to any of these. Teachers were angry, lowering my grades and degrading my achievements. Of course I did manage to proof the point - I was intelligent. But at what price and why? Of course my husband saw through all this (don't know how though...). So in my case I didn't lose love because of my behavior. But I did lose on a lot of professional and social opportunities I might have had if I would have conformed.
3 b) Other people don't have correct judgment about themselves. My best friend didn't really see her mistakes though she couldn't correct them. She didn't stand a chance of finding a right partner simply because she wanted a nice guy, somebody who would treat her right. Instead, with her behavior she was always scaring that type of guys away, but attracting men who enjoy all the roughness and tactlessness in women and who treat those women accordingly. Learn to understand yourself and adjust your behavior to what you want to be a result. You have to show YOU and to send the right signals to other people, so they see YOU the way you are. Of course under the circumstances of wrong self-judgment only an external opinion can really help (friends, family, psychologist etc.)
Well, there was so much more I wanted to write about Patti's show, especially regarding Success, Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem .... but maybe next time.
